Reward
by ScriptorBemi
Summary: Sequel to For Your Thoughts. Spike's P.O.V. R&R, please.


Reward

Author: Bemidia

Rating: Teen

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Even if I wanted to, I'd never have enough money to buy them. :( So I'll just play with them a little and give them back when I'm done.

Warnings: Love between men! No sex, though.

* * *

For a while, Sunnydale is all he can think about

For a while, Sunnydale is all he can think about. He doesn't really mourn. The only person that didn't make it out was Demon Girl. Girl had a good heart, and he'd miss her, but everyone that he'd really cared about had escaped the hell that had collapsed around him.

Mainly he thinks about Buffy, holding his hand at the end and lying because it's what she thinks he wants to hear. Buffy who had never looked more beautiful than when she knew that they had finally managed to close down the Hellmouth.

But at night, when he's wandering around, incorporeal, not letting the lawyers know he's there, Xander fills his thoughts. His beautiful brown-eyed boy. The boy who had become a man so fast that Spike's not sure that the boy was real in the first place. The beautiful man who'd admitted that he'd been in love with a childhood friend who he'd had to stake. The man who had overcome prejudice and ingrained hatred to let him in.

The man who had probably written Spike off as a pre-apocalyptic crisis.

Xander, who was strong, brave, and beautiful, and was probably surrounded by slayers who just wanted to fawn over and pet him for days at a time.

And he wonders what happened to that crown he'd given Xander at the bar.

Spike cursed himself. He just couldn't stop letting them in.

* * *

Then Andrew had come. And he'd found out that Xander was off in Africa collecting slayers.

Africa?

Why Africa?

Spike didn't understand. He also didn't understand how the council had let Xander run off alone, his vision what it was.

But after a long talk with Andrew he'd discovered that Xander had spent time training after they'd reached Cleveland. That Xander was actually better with weapons now than he'd been with both eyes.

Spike just barely managed not to be surprised. It sounded like something Harris would do.

* * *

In a flash he was in Italy, looking at Buffy from afar. She would never know he was there, and every part of him was glad of that. He was happy that she was happy and that was enough. Even the small part of him that would always love her was happy.

Happy but feeling guilty, because his first decision hadn't been to jump on a plane to Africa to find Xander. He felt like it should have been.

But in the end he decided that Xander was more than capable of taking care of himself.

Occasionally, he wondered what the brunette's reaction would have been if Spike had shown up in Africa. Wondered if the boy would push him away out of shame, because that seemed to be what everyone got out of relationships with him.

* * *

Andrew's calls always come late at night, but they're brimming with stories of the original Scoobies, and what they've been up to. Dawn slept with a Thricewise, Buffy's still happy, Willow and Kennedy split but Red's dating again, and Xander seems to be thriving in Africa. He's finding more slayers than any taskforce Giles has put together yet.

Xander seemed to have done well for himself.

In another flash he's standing in an alleyway, staring at an army, and wishing he'd had the guts to face Xander, if only to let the man know that he'd cared more than Xander had ever known.

But then there's the clash of fighting, and he can't think of anything at al

* * *

Then he's in the United Kingdom again for the first time in decades, and they've arrived at the airport and Willow's there, babbling excuses for everyone. Spike, armed with knowledge from Andrew, knew what wasn't being said.

"Buffy's really busy." 'She can't be pulled away from The Immortal and partying long enough to see her two ex's and can't be bothered to deal with a potentially messy situation.'

"Dawn is stuck in Scotland, but she sends her love." True, but that's because a 30 foot woman pacing around the airport would cause a panic. He wondered how much everyone knew about Dawn's situation.

"Xander's still in Africa, rounding up slayers." Well, that one's completely true.

"So I get to be your welcoming committee!" Willow smiles brightly.

Angel broods a little, and keeps one eye on Gunn and Illyria, who looks like Fred at the moment to prevent a scene.

Spike smiles brightly. "Thanks, Red. Ya think we'll be there soon? I'm knackered."

Willow's smile brightened. "Yeah. We're going to safehouse, and taking a portal to the main house."

Spike nodded. "Should be fun." He hated portals. Oh well.

* * *

Spike snuck out to the barn alone, for once. The council obviously still didn't trust Angel, and it showed. There were with escorts almost all the time, but he wanted to talk to Dawn without prying ears.

The first time he'd been allowed to go see her, she'd cried tears big enough to drown a cat in. He 'd climbed up on her shoulder and they'd sat there and talked for hours until the escort was bored and made some excuse about dinner to break them up.

As Spike entered the barn he heard Dawn humming softly and smiled to himself. The niblet was all grown up, figuratively and literally. "Dawn?"

The humming stopped. "Spike?" She looked down at the vampire. "What's up?"

"Managed to slip the guards, and decided to see my favorite girl." Spike smiled up at her.

Dawn smiled down. "Your 30 foot tall girl."

Spike nodded to himself, and then laid all his cards on the table. "Thirty foot tall and a mother-to-be."

All the happiness and amusement drained off of Dawn's face. "How do you know?"

"Had a friend in the 30's that was a Thricewise. He got his girl knocked up. If you hadn't been pregnant you would have shrunk back to your normal size already." Spike gave her a sympathetic smile. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" Dawn frowned.

"There's a spell, if you want… It will end the pregnancy." Spike bit his lip, and watched Dawn's face.

Dawn opened her mouth, and then shut it, shaking her head.

"It doesn't matter to me what you do. I think you'll be a great mother, and everyone here will support you. You know that, Nibblet. Think about what you want to do, but make up your mind soon. At four months you'll go back to normal, and start showing." Spike patted Dawn on her leg, and made his way back to the house.

* * *

He's standing in the library again. He doesn't know why Angel picked the one room without demonology books to hang out in, and he's so bored he's about to pick up a book and start reading, but that would completely destroy his image.

He's actually looking at the bookshelves when he hears the door open. He doesn't turn, thinking its Red. But a gasping breath is drawn in, and it's too heavy, too deep for it to have been Willow. He turns.

And there's Xander standing there, staring at him as though he wasn't quite sure the vampire was real.

So Spike reached out and placed a hand on the heaving chest. Sometimes he swears he can hear the dust moving in there. Can hear the parts of Jesse that will never leave Xander.

That touch broke whatever spell seemed to be holding Xander, and the boy pushed him against the bookshelf. He worried whether he was going to get attacked.

"Oh, thank god."

And then there was a hand in his hair, and lips against his own, and in a flash he'd thrown back to a night in the Bronze, and a desperate kiss against the wall in the basement.

He thanks every god he's ever heard about that Harris still wants him, and figures this has got to be his reward.


End file.
